Gay But Not Attracted to Gay Men

Dear Sambag,

I wonder if I’m subconsciously aware that people are gay and then make myself not like them because I swear I’ve never met someone I like that ISN’T straight. And I’m not being over-dramatic. I mean that literally. Never. And I’m worried because I’m 24 now and very frustrated and afraid of the future. If I ever fall for someone, I know immediately that they’re straight. It’s almost like a twisted version of gaydar when you think about it.

I’m not very obviously gay – at least as far as stereotypes go, and I’m quiet and don’t stand out in a crowd.

I’m also not into the gay clubs scene. Whatever happened to places you could go to with friends for a fun night and actually HEAR? Gay clubs play trance music and men dance shirtless… my morals are too standard for that to be a comfort zone. I guess you could say I’m a straight gay.

So yeah, just wondering if it’s only me. I see a gay guy and am usually turned off by how feminine they are. I’m not into femininity. Thus, the GAY part.

Steve from Mississippi

Thanks for writing, Steve. I’ll let our readers weigh in. Please share your advice and experiences in the Comments below.

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Dear Sambag, I wonder if I'm subconsciously aware that people are gay and then make myself not like them because I swear I've never met someone I like that ISN'T straight. And I'm not being over-dramatic. I mean that literally. Never. And I'm worried because I'm 24 now and very...