Dear Sambag: Mom Said I Should Kill Myself for Being Gay
I came out to my mom last month and it’s been hell living with her ever since. I am moving out starting tomorrow. I guess she thought today would be a good day to tell me everything she thought about me. She began yelling at me about how I can never be happy without god and that one day I will realize that. She also said “that’s why you people are protesting all the time, you aren’t happy without god,” to which I responded with “we protest because there’s millions of kids who kill themselves because they have parents like you.” She said, “If you wanna kill yourself, kill yourself.” This happened while I was getting ready for my boyfriend’s birthday dinner. But now, I can’t stop crying.
You’re a gift to your mother. She’s stuck in her ways of being hateful against gays because she’s been conditioned to think like that in her life. You being gay is giving her a chance to see that everything she believes isn’t true. She’s most likely angry because now it’s her turn to be confused. She’s learning that someone she deeply loves is someone she’s been taught to hate and it’s taking a toll on her logic. Good for you for taking an opportunity to move away. I think the distance between you two will be helpful for her to process what she believes and she’ll come around to see that her hatred is based off of irrational fears. You’re a gift to your mother. You’re existence in her life will make her a better person. It’s going to be tough to get through these times, but never forget how valuable you are.
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