Dear Sambag,

My boyfriend is extremely insecure and I understand that, but last night he took it to a whole new level and it’s really bothering me. We had gone out to dinner with some friends and while I’m driving him home he asks this out of nowhere: “You’d never cheat on me, would you?” My answer of course was no I would not, I don’t want to jeopardize what we have and I have no desire to look for a relationship elsewhere when I have one with him. Then I tried to talk to him about why he asked because a question like that just doesn’t come to your head out of nowhere, it’s premeditated. But he shut down on me and said forget it. So I dropped it.

I want to reproach the subject and talk it out. Because it’s really bothering me that he would even think about that. But I’m unsure of how to even talk to him about it. I want him to understand where I’m coming from but not feel like I’m angry at him for asking or anything because I’m not, just perplexed. Any suggestions?

Cris

Dear Cris,

Ask him some questions about his past. There’s possibly a history there, it sounds like there is. He’s possibly gone through something in the past and is attributing to the present.

Someone’s history tells you a lot about them, and I view it as essential due diligence when getting into a relationship.

Rule #1 for a successful relationship is communication: people are NOT mind readers; if you can’t talk it out and learn to do it in a polite way, then you don’t have much of a relationship.

But I’ll stop there and let our readers weigh in. Please share your advice in the Comments below.

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Dear Sambag, My boyfriend is extremely insecure and I understand that, but last night he took it to a whole new level and it's really bothering me. We had gone out to dinner with some friends and while I'm driving him home he asks this out of nowhere: 'You'd never...