Dear Sambag,

Ok, so I feel confused. I came out when I was 27. It took me awhile but once I decided to be honest with everyone I’ve been out and comfortable. My family was very accepting, I got married and my husband family is very accepting as well. I’m out at work not because I go tell them but when they get personal I have no problem telling them I’m gay and married.

So pretty much everyone in my life knows. Except I couldn’t admit it to my barber. I go to a barber probably about once a month. He is really good at what he does that’s why I keep on coming back but he makes me feel uncomfortable with his straight vibe. He is always talking to me about the girls he talks to (I’m sure he gets a lot of girl attention because he is super fit.).. however I just want my haircut.

This last time he asked if I live alone or with who? So instead of me admitting I’m married, I just nodded my head and said alone.

I felt like I was going back to the closet for not feeling comfortable answering I was married. Because I knew once I answered that question I would be asked about “her” and didn’t want to clarify that is not a her and that I’m gay.

I haven’t had that feeling in about 5 years…. so I felt super awkward and bad about myself and now I’m contemplating in not coming back.

After years of having been out, do you feel anxious to come out to strangers?

Ilyas

Dear Ilyas,

You never come out once, in my opinion. It’s not a one-and-done deal, it’s more of a continual process. It’s normal to feel like you can’t come out to certain people, and that’s okay! You don’t have to display your sexuality on your shoulder like it’s your life (even if it is).

Also, your sexual orientation and your living arrangements are really none of your barber’s business. It’s unprofessional of him to ask you questions like this. He’s probably a dolt.

People can volunteer information about themselves, if they want. But if they don’t volunteer it, don’t pry.

But I’ll stop there and let our readers weigh in. Please share your advice in the Comments below.

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Dear Sambag, Ok, so I feel confused. I came out when I was 27. It took me awhile but once I decided to be honest with everyone I've been out and comfortable. My family was very accepting, I got married and my husband family is very accepting as well. I'm...