Dear Sambag,

I’m numb, and the part of me that can love, be open, be trusting feels hollowed out…
In a way, I deserve it, expected this, because he was closeted the whole time we dated. He comes from a conservative religious family, so I understand it. I know why he is making the choice to be with a girl. Haven’t I gone through the same emotions – shame, self-hatred, internalized homophobia, fear of rejection, abandonment? There is no road map for what a gay lifestyle would mean in his eyes. I know he wants acceptance and approval, and thinks he can achieve that as a straight man.

But I’m asking, is it even possible for a gay man to be in a marriage with a woman and be satisfied? be happy?

I’m going to have to move on, even if it hurts me, but deep down, I just know that it is a mistake. I want him back so badly…

Graham,

Dear Graham,

I feel so bad for the girl he married. Too often do you hear of closet men who marry a girl just so their family is happy and then 30 years later and 4 kids, he decides to be his true self and emotionally damage the wife beyond repair. It breaks my heart because I’ve seen someone close to me go through this with her ex husband. She felt like her entire life was a waste because he only used her for acceptance and never deep down loved her in all the ways she deserved.

Trust me here, the only option for you is to RUN, do not walk, towards the exit.

But I’ll stop there and let our readers weigh in. Please share your advice in the Comments below.

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Dear Sambag, I'm numb, and the part of me that can love, be open, be trusting feels hollowed out... In a way, I deserve it, expected this, because he was closeted the whole time we dated. He comes from a conservative religious family, so I understand it. I know why he...