Dear Sambag: Falling for My Coworker
I’m a gay guy in my mid 20’s out and proud but most people assume I’m straight because of my demeanor and I’m pretty shy in general. I don’t really talk about my social life other than to close friends. But for the past year, I’ve worked at a restaurant and I’ve had a crush on a particular coworker around my age who I’ve always known to be straight and had a girlfriend for the majority of the time I’ve worked there. We never really talked in depth or hung out other than on breaks at work or if it’s slow but we definitely consider each other friends.
A few months ago, he broke up with his girlfriend and that’s when things started being different between us. He has become a lot more open and touchy-feely with me. I don’t know how or when it started but when we see each other, one of us will say for example “hey babe” or “my boyfriends here!” when we arrive at work. I always just assumed he was just playing along and being friendly. Almost every shift, he’ll slap my *ss or pinch it along with some flirty comment and I get so flustered I kind of just laugh it off. I never do it back because I’m just reserved when it comes to that (but it’s not to say I don’t enjoy it because I do).
So what I really just want to know is if I should make any moves or talk to him about it. He gives me rides home from work on occasion and sometimes I’ll even go to his house to smoke and watch TV. But during these times, he doesn’t act flirty the way he does at work with me. Am I overthinking this? Is this how most straight guys act who are comfortable with their sexuality? I don’t see him do this with any other guys at work or anyone in general. I truly want to tell him how I feel but I don’t want to ruin our friendship or make coming to work awkward. What should I do? Any advice will help.
First, don’t mess around with your coworkers. Things are likely to get out of control and you don’t want them to affect your career or make you seem any less professional.
Second, straight guys… sigh. I and probably most of the gay men have gone through the same situation growing up. I can’t speak for everyone, but to me, I think he is a bit too flirty and it almost made me feel like he is leading you on or something, but he clearly is not. The fact that he turns it off in private is a clear signal from him: that is not how he’s willing to relate to you. Personally, I would not take it too seriously and try to draw the line right there. Once the hints are dropped, I think he will get them.
I don’t think you have to confront him about it if you don’t feel comfortable. Another thing I’m pretty sure is that he is just feeling lonely and bored at the time being. He will switch back to his old mode when he has his new girl.
But I’ll stop there and let our readers weigh in. Please share your advice in the Comments below.http://sambagblog.com/2018/01/18/dear-sambag-falling-coworker/http://sambagblog.com/gallery/2018/01/Dear-Sambag-Falling-for-My-Coworker-640x640.jpghttp://sambagblog.com/gallery/2018/01/Dear-Sambag-Falling-for-My-Coworker-120x120.jpgDear SambagGay Issues