Dear Sambag,

So my older brother (22) is gay and out to my parents and me whatever. I (18) am also gay… not out.

My brother knows and some friends do. However, this morning, my dad comes into my room and starts rambling and eventually asks me.. “Are you gay? I will still love you, just like your brother.” maybe not word for word but very close. Then he goes “I don’t understand why you don’t have a girlfriend, i mean… you are good looking, workout, and are smart.. why are you single?”

I made up to him that I do have a girlfriend and we have kissed. (We have kissed but she knows im gay… but we both like to explore if you will….)

Anyways, I am still in high school so that is why I live with my parents at 18. I just don’t want to disappoint him. That means his only two children will be gay. The child of his who he always relied on to be straight, to give him grandchildren, has failed.

I feel like he won’t see me as who I used to be. Helping him fix my car and/or is, going sailing, playing baseball, etc. I do not think I am ready to come out to my whole family yet. I want to do it during Air Force Basic Training when I am allowed to write a letter.

Preston

Dear Preston,

You aren’t a failure for being gay. You are under no obligation to provide grandchildren for your parents, nor are straight people for theirs. There are many ways one can procure children if they want to grow their family. Do not place such a heavy burden on yourself. Be honest with him whenever you are ready.

To be honest, it wasn’t fair for him to put you in that position. You are entitled to come out when you feel safe to do so. The good news is that you will be supported when you are ready.

But I’ll stop there and let our readers weigh in. Please share your advice in the Comments below.

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Dear Sambag, So my older brother (22) is gay and out to my parents and me whatever. I (18) am also gay... not out. My brother knows and some friends do. However, this morning, my dad comes into my room and starts rambling and eventually asks me.. 'Are you gay?...