Dear Sambag,

I’m 20 and went to high school with this guy that I was friends with but not super close by any means. I went away to uni and became friends with his younger brother there (18), and we started to date casually but we decided to not tell his brother because he’s not out to his family.

So we’re back home for the summer and last night we went out to a club and were like dancing and stuff when his brother saw us. His brother is now super pissed that I didn’t tell him and is even more mad that all his friends kept it from him just because everyone knew. He’s threatening to out my bf to his family and we’re honestly not sure how to handle this. Is this any of my business? Should I do something or stay out of it?

Ian

Dear Ian,

I’d mostly stay out of it. Your business is with him directly as he’s upset that you didn’t loop him in, but this was probably at the brother’s behest since he didn’t want to come out.

Best you can do is just be supportive to your casual partner.

As for what HE should do, probably best to apologize to the brother and ask not to be outed to the family. It’s a bit of a trap because this overreaction is likely why he was scared to come out to the brother in the first place, but if it’s padded with enough “I know you’re family, but I was scared” he might skate by.

But I’ll stop there and let our readers weigh in. Please share your advice in the Comments below.

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Dear Sambag, I'm 20 and went to high school with this guy that I was friends with but not super close by any means. I went away to uni and became friends with his younger brother there (18), and we started to date casually but we decided to not tell...