Dear Sambag,

I have wanted to hook up with a guy at work for a long time; he’s insanely hot and finally last week the opportunity presented itself. I got him together with his girlfriend but for the last few weeks he’s spent a lot of time with me telling me how unhappy he is, what a bitch she is, how he just doesn’t see himself staying with her.

This guy is the typical jock douche around others but when we’re alone together he’s honestly one of the nicest people I know and he’s been so great and helpful to me over the last year with my personal stuff- so not only did I want to ride him like a horse, I actually think I’ve caught feelings.

It all culminated last week- we’d gone to his house after a long night of beers and talking and I ended up giving him a beej. I’m really relieved- he’s being totally normal with me which I was worried about because every time I’ve hooked up with a str8 boy before suddenly it’s cold shoulder time. My issue is I never, ever sleep with people when I know they’re in relationships and I try not to hook up with heteros because I feel bad for complicating their lives. I basically feel like a humongous asshole for doing this to his girlfriend who, whilst she is not exactly a shining example of a wonderful girlfriend, is still a person. And I keep catching myself picking out china patterns for me and he when it’s just so clear nothing can develop from it.

I guess my question is- do I just bury it and move on? He seems fine with talking about it when we’re alone together, I don’t think it’s even phased him and he’s very stupidly told a good mutual friend of ours that it happened. It’s kind of like a funny story to him, and I feel (as an almost 31 year old man) like I should be over this amateur catching feelings for str8 players kind of thing. Any advice would be welcome and yes I know I am a selfish ass for hooking up with a boy who is with a girl.

Dave

Thanks for writing, Dave. I’ll let our readers weigh in. Please share your advice in the Comments below.

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Dear Sambag, I have wanted to hook up with a guy at work for a long time; he’s insanely hot and finally last week the opportunity presented itself. I got him together with his girlfriend but for the last few weeks he’s spent a lot of time with me telling...